A superficial girl in a superficial world

Long, thick hair with Hollywood curs. Styled to perfection.
Flawless skin and makeup on fleek. No wrinkles or signs of ageing.
Slim, toned body. Not too skinny, not the slightest sign of too much fat.
Breasts not too be confused with mountains, but neither to raisins.
Stylish cool clothes that fit and suits your body. Preferably from a known high end brand. An oversized bag to match. From Louis Vuitton.

According to television, magazines, bloggers, celebrities, Instagram, … well… the world.. that is how you should appear. At least that is how I have perceived it, and in my head that is the image of “the perfect woman”.

Although I do not normally see me as very superficial person, I have come to realise that I in fact am. I now, and have through out my life, spent ALOT of time thinking of my appearance. Or more, complaining about my appearance.

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I am to fat, my nose is too big, I have no cheekbones, my hair is too straight and flat, my complexion is too fair, I never get a tan, my nails never grow, my boobs are too small, my hips are to wide, I have too  many wrinkles, I look old, I feel ugly.

When I think about all the time I have wasted on these stupid thoughts I feel sad. Sad for my self, and sad to think I am hardly alone. Sad to think about the girls growing up today, with social media pushed in their faces 24/7.

Why isn’t there more focus on peoples insides? We humans are so much more than our looks. What about what goes on on the other side of us? Our personality, our compassion, kindness to others, acceptance of each other, the connection with our selves and our minds. Our thoughts, ideas, meanings and  values.

I wish I had spent alot more time throughout my life thinking more about those kind of things. Instead of wasting my time and energy on something that is so unimportant in the big picture, and beside, something that is absolutely unachievable .

As I am now actually 32 years old, and considered to be an adult. I really should know better. But the truth is… I still spend a lot of time thinking about my looks. About the fact that I still haven’t reached my goal for the perfect bikini body, even though I have spent countless hours in the gym (usually followed by a fiest of pick n mix, alcohol, pizza and biscuits. Go figure!), and  always chosen the low fat yoghurt. I spend time being sad about the fact that I will never again be young and beautiful. My time as young and irresponsible has past. From now on it only goes one way……

As you can see I am extremely positive about my future..haha. No, seriously… at least I am now aware of the stupidity of these thoughts. That at least is a step in the right direction…and maybe there is hope for me after all.

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To all the girls growing up today……. I wish you luck.

And hope you are smarter and stronger than I was.

 

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