The social retard

So yes, that would be me.

How come some people can manage to be so outgoing, so open, and just so damn radiant! You know that kind of person that just claims the attention when they walk into a room without screaming or shouting or acting like a maniac. The person that talks to you like they’re actually interested in you. The person who has this glow around them that just makes you want to be their best friend. Who always says the most interesting things, and always has a funny comment at just the right time.

Don’t you just hate those people?? haha, no, you just want to BE those people!

Well, I’m stuck just being me.

The socially retarded me.

social flower

I’m scared of meeting new people. I hate small-talk. I don’t like being in big groups of people (meaning more than 3!) where I don’t know them that well. I dread settings were I am expected to talk to new people, come across as nice and polite and make sense at the same time!

I get scared and nervous. I get stupid. I suddenly don’t have a single interesting ting to say, and sometimes I even forget my manners. I get socially retarded.

I am the person who will walk across the road to avoid meeting someone I kind of know. I am the person who will pretend to be out shopping for frozen fish, when I am actually just wanting a bar of chocolate, but I spotted someone I sort of know, so will do anything to avoid them. I am the person who will stay an extra 2 minutes in  the public bathroom if I hear someone else outside washing their hands.

My boyfriend is the complete opposite of me. He is THE people person! He loves people and people love him. He is actually like the person I described in the beginning of this post. He has an outstanding talent in social skills. Why is it that people are so different when it comes to socialisation? Pretty unfair if you ask me! But  I am happy that he is like he is. It gives me a push to try and be a bit more social. And believe you me, I need that sometimes.


I wish I was better at meeting new people. To come across as someone who is not bored, lazy or got my nose in the air. For the record, I am not bored or stuck up. I am shy! And nervous! And I just get nervous around people I don’t know. Which is kind of crazy and a little bit silly, as I am supposed to be a 30 year old independent and confident woman!!

At one point I actually read a book called ‘The art of talking to anyone’. That was just before I travelled to Spain on my own..haha.. You can imagine how nervous I was then. And no, the book didn’t help much at all, except for teaching me some incredible bad jokes. Here are some of the one-liner jokes this bookes suggest:

A: Does anyone else react poorly to coffee? I get headaches and my eyes hurt.
B: Maybe before drinking your coffee, you should take the spoon out of the cup?

A: We went to the ballet last night, and I’m still marveling at the way they dance on their toes.
B: Why don’t they just get taller dancers?

A: Yes, we’re definitely getting married although I haven’t picked a date yet.
B: What? You’re bringing a date to your own wedding?

Oh  my  god. Who ever wrote this book has a great sense of humor!


Anyway, I also have to admit; I am not the biggest people-person… is that a terrible thing to say? or is it socially acceptable? I don’t know, but it is the truth. The truth about my social awkwardness 🙂

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